


Bad Vibrations

by sneksonaplane



Series: Sex Sent Me to the E.R. AU [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, M/M, kind of hospital AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-12
Updated: 2015-10-12
Packaged: 2018-04-25 23:35:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4981132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sneksonaplane/pseuds/sneksonaplane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“<i>Scott!</i>” The yelp is startled, a little pained but still tinged with the fading traces of pleasure that Stiles can’t help but feel because this is awful, he’s pretty sure there’s a vibrator stuck inside him right now but it’s still on and his body can’t help but react to being full. </p><p>Scott quickly withdraws his fingers, not wanting to make it any worse, and after a moment of just listening to the harsh breaths coming from Stiles he points out the obvious. “Man, I think it’s stuck.”</p><p>OR</p><p>Stiles gets a vibrator stuck in his ass and has to be rescued by E.R. doctor Peter Hale</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bad Vibrations

“Look so good like this- your hole all needy and wet for me.” Scott breathes the words against Stiles’ skin, his head pillowed on his friend’s thigh while he stares reverently at his ass, using one hand to spread Stiles’ ass cheeks open for him and the other to tease a vibrator around the pucker of Stiles’ hole, already prepped and glistening with lube. Stiles is laying on his stomach, his face pressed into a pillow and his back arched as he impatiently waits for Scott to fuck him already. 

“Are you ready?” The question has Stiles glaring over his shoulder at Scott.

“Am I ready? Dude, I’ve been ready for the past twenty minutes.” He snaps indignantly, but Scott is used to how demanding his best friend can be in bed and just smiles serenely back at him. He then turns his attention back to the small purple vibrator he’s been teasing Stiles with, pressing the tip against Stiles’ soft, open hole and feeling his cock twitch at the sight of the toy sliding so easily into him.

Scott gets distracted with watching the clenching muscles flutter around the vibrator, sucking it in like a greedy mouth, starts imagining how hot Stiles’ hole would feel if he just took the vibrator out and sunk his cock in there right now. He doesn’t realize he’s humping the mattress and just staring at the vibrator in his friend’s ass until Stiles sighs and wiggles his hips. “C’mon, Scotty, turn it on. Fuck me!” He whines, but he doesn’t sound too annoyed, his sighs mostly ones of pleasure as he squirms and tenses just to feel the toy filling him up, rubbing up against his insides. 

It gets even better when Scott pushes the button at the bottom of the vibrator, and the toy starts buzzing relentless and fast. Both of them groan, Stiles' voice shaky and high, Scott's soft and just as wrecked. He still has his hand on the base of the vibrator, pushes gently just to inch it that much further into Stiles before sliding it out a few inches.

“Stiles- fuck.” Scott grunts like he’s the one getting fucked, trying to get the rounded, hard edge of the toy to vibrate over Stiles’ prostate on each thrust. Stiles’ hole _clings_ to the toy every time he slowly pulls it out, skin so pink and slick and pretty that Scott just wants to get his mouth on it. That’s what he’ll do next, he decides, fuck Stiles to an orgasm with the vibrator and then rim him until he’s crying with the need to come again, but Scott won’t let him until he gets his cock in that needy little hole, until-

“Uh.” Stiles’ voice is strained from more than just pleasure now, a hint of worry edging his tone. “Scott? It feels-” He arches away from Scott instead of towards him, frowning down at the other boy.

“Shit. I- hold on. Just. Hold on.” Somehow the vibrator is now completely inside Stiles, Scott’s grip on it having slipped only briefly when he pushed the toy in deep but it was enough time for the toy to practically _disappear_. Scott keeps his friend pinned to the bed while he carefully slides two fingers into the slick heat of Stiles’ hole, feeling the vibrator inside right there and trying to get a hold of it, nudging it.

“ _Scott!_ ” The yelp is startled, a little pained but still tinged with the fading traces of pleasure that Stiles can’t help but feel because this is awful, he’s pretty sure there’s a vibrator stuck inside him right now but it’s still on and his body can’t help but react to being full. 

Scott quickly withdraws his fingers, not wanting to make it any worse, and after a moment of just listening to the harsh breaths coming from Stiles he points out the obvious. “Man, I think it’s stuck.”

 

Stiles adamantly refuses to contact anyone to help with the situation. Not that any of their other friends are experienced in this area, but. Scott doesn’t feel equipped to handle this alone. However, his best friend takes charge and guides him in looking for a solution, even incapacitated as he is by the toy buzzing away inside him. He tells Scott exactly what to type into a google search, because there has to be helpful advice for this on the internet, right?

Every solution the internet has to offer turns out to be useless, and over thirty minutes later they’re still where they started- Stiles laying in bed, cock only twitching with mild interest every once in awhile as the vibrator presses against his prostate, and Scott between his legs looking guilty and scared. His expression is especially guilty when he says, careful and slow, “I think we need to go to the hospital like that one article recommended.” 

“No. No way.” Stiles argues, his tone making it clear he’s not going to argue or negotiate on the matter. He’s not going to the hospital to get a vibrator removed from his ass. He’ll die before he does that, or better yet, Scott will die because Stiles will kill him for getting him into this situation. The point is, he’s not going to the hospital. 

 

Stiles has to struggle to walk normally when they enter the emergency room. The vibrator still buzzing away in his ass makes it hard not to waddle around awkwardly; at least he’s not hard anymore, his boner killed the moment he thought about walking into the ER and announcing to some elderly receptionist that there was a vibrator stuck inside of him. 

Scott almost looks more uncomfortable than him right now, trailing along behind Stiles like a lost puppy and giving him these shameful looks every time they make eye contact. Stiles isn’t mad at him, not exactly. But there’s no way he’s going to be the one comforting Scott when _he has a damn vibrator trapped in his ass_. Scott should definitely be the one comforting him right now. He should also be the one approaching the ER receptionist, because what is Stiles even going to say? Nothing, he’s going to say nothing because he’s going to die right here, he’s going to die of shame and embarrassment and this will all be over. 

Unfortunately, by the time he’s standing in front of the reception desk, Stiles still hasn’t died. The woman at the desk looks at him, he looks at Scott, Scott looks pathetically uncomfortable and confused, and Stiles heaves a weary sigh and decides to get it over with.

“There’s a vibrator stuck in my ass right now.” He announces bluntly, maybe a little too loudly if the muttering and snickering from the other people in the waiting room is any indication. He’s not paying them any attention, no way. He’ll just ignore them all. 

The receptionist at least doesn’t seem horrified or even amused, just raises her eyebrows and asks him, “How long has the object been inside you, sir?”

“Um…” He looks at Scott, raising his eyebrows in a silent question that he answers himself before Scott has a chance to. “About 45 minutes?”

“Are you experiencing pain anywhere?”

God. 

Stiles grumbles out an answer, starting with a quick “no” that turns into an uncertain shrug and a muttered, “It kind of aches a little? And hurts more when I move the wrong way. I mean, it’s not killing me, though.”

Nodding calmly, the receptionist types something into her computer, calls someone named Melanie using the phone on the desk, and then gestures to the woman who shows up at the front desk less than a minute later. Apparently having something stuck in your ass constitutes enough of an emergency to get help right away.

“Melanie will take a look at you now.”

Neither Scott or Stiles can look the receptionist in the eye as they follow the nurse down a nearby hallway, although Scott utters a quick, sheepish “Thank you” in the woman’s direction before they leave her.

Melanie leads them to an exam room in a bustling hallway, where Stiles has to strip down to his boxers and put on a paper gown while Scott sits there helplessly watching.

As the nurse asks him countless questions, jotting down his answers on a sheet of paper, Stiles has to wonder how often she does this- deals with patients who have something stuck in their ass, or who have gotten some other sex related injury. Because so far, she’s acting like it’s the most normal thing in the world, the same way the receptionist had. That doesn’t make it any less mortifying when he’s instructed to lay on his back on the exam table, pull down his boxers and let a complete stranger examine his ass for a few painfully long minutes. 

“I’m just going to touch you with my fingertips now,” the nurse warns, and then her gloved fingers are brushing over his rim and she’s done before Stiles can so much as tense up in response. “You can put your underwear back on now. A doctor will be with your shortly; he’ll most likely want to give you a topical muscle relaxant or a medication that will relax your body and see if that helps.”

She leaves after that, and maybe having a vibrator stuck inside you doesn’t warrant immediate medical attention after all, because Stiles and Scott are left waiting for what feels like forever. 

 

“How are you feeling?” Scott asks after they’ve been waiting for at least twenty minutes.

Stiles’ voice is dripping with sarcasm when he answers. “I’m great. Nothing better than being in the hospital at 1 in the morning because there’s a vibrator lodged inside my ass, Scotty.” 

The guilty expression returns to Scott’s face, and he looks positively mournful when he says, “This is all my fault.” 

“Well, yeah.” Stiles agrees, but he quickly adds, “It’s not like you could have known this would happen. And hey, it could be worse. I’m not sure how, but it could be. Probably.” 

Before Scott can respond, there’s a light knock on the door and an older man in a white lab coat walks in. 

“Oh my god, hot doctor alert. Now it can’t be any worse.” Stiles blurts out upon getting a good look at the man, then silently curses himself and his lack of brain to mouth filter when the man’s lips quirk up in an amused grin. 

“Hello-” Hot Doctor peers at the clipboard in his hands before continuing, “Stiles. I’m Dr. Hale and I’ll be helping to treat you tonight.” 

“Hi.” Stiles attempts a polite smile, but it probably looks more like a grimace than anything else. 

Hot Doctor- Dr. Hale, whatever- doesn’t seem put off by his less than enthusiastic greeting, just glances at the clipboard again and says, “Let’s just review here. It says that the object stuck inside of you is approximately five inches long and one inch in width, has been inside you since 11:30 pm, and is only causing you mild discomfort at the moment. Is all of that correct?”

Breathing out a pained sigh and looking anywhere but at Hot Doctor, Stiles nods.

“I’m going to take a look at you now, but I already expect to have no issues treating you. I’d like to try applying a muscle relaxant and seeing if that solves your problem. If the relaxant isn’t enough, then we’ll look at surgical extraction, but I'm fairly certain it won't come to that. How does that sound?”

“I mean, all things considered that sounds okay. But in general it sounds horrible because all of this is horrible.” He keeps his tone at least somewhat lighthearted, not wanting to seem like an uncooperative patient or a complete asshole (even though admittedly, he kind of is a complete asshole. If this had happened to anyone but him, even to Scott, he’d find their suffering hilarious.)

Dr. Hale just makes a sympathetic noise in response to his complaining. “I understand this isn’t an enjoyable predicament to be in, but we’ll have you good as new in no time. First I need you to lay down and take off your underwear so I can look at you, though. Would you like your boyfriend to stay in the room, or would you prefer some privacy for this?”

Stiles goes to correct the doctor at the same time that Scott does, and they end up speaking over each other. 

“He’s not-”

“Oh, I’m actually-”

“He’s- Scott isn’t my boyfriend. We’re just...friends. Not boyfriends. Nope. I am totally boyfriendless.” 

Dr. Hale doesn’t have to smile this time to show his amusement; Stiles _knows_ the guy is laughing at him on the inside. “Well, regardless of your relationship with each other, would you like him to remain in the room for this?”

He glances at Scott, who just shrugs like he doesn’t care either way. “Sure.” Stiles decides; figuring he’d rather not go through this alone and Scott should have to deal with the awkwardness of the situation with him. Not like Scott’s never seen him naked or in an embarrassing position before. Hot Doctor, on the other hand…

Hot Doctor isn’t nearly as familiar with Stiles, or to him, as Scott is, and he tells himself that’s why he feels a jolt of arousal when the man crowds his broad body into Stiles’ personal space. He stares at the ceiling, unwilling to look at Dr. Hale as the man stands between his spread legs. Soon there are gloved hands all over him again, and along with the self consciousness he’d felt when the nurse touched him, Stiles also feels his arousal increase. 

No doctor has any right to be as hot as Dr. Hale, okay? Stiles can’t be held responsible for the way he responds to that level of hotness, to practiced fingers probing over and then _into_ him, slicked with lube but still strangely rubbery feeling inside him thanks to the gloves Dr. Hale is wearing. It’s not his fault how his body reacts, nope, it’s all the doctor’s fault. That doesn’t stop him from cringing and feeling ridiculous and ashamed when his cock becomes flushed and half hard.

“It’s perfectly normal for your body to respond to anal and prostate stimulation.” Dr. Hale reassures when he notices Stiles' cock twitching, giving him a smile that only succeeds in turning Stiles on more, making him squirm with the conflicting emotions of lust and humiliation. Something about older men with that stern but fatherly vibe just does that to him. 

He breathes a sigh of relief when Dr. Hale’s fingers slide out of him, but then the man says, “I’m going to apply the muscle relaxant now,” and he’s touching Stiles again, fingers slicked once more but this time with something that has a thicker consistency than the lube and leaves his skin feeling strangely tingly.

“Scott.” He croaks, trying so hard not to sound turned on that it sounds like he’s dying instead. Scott’s head jerks in his direction from where he’d been staring uncomfortably at the wall, his eyebrows raised as he waits to hear what Stiles has to say.

“Distract me.” 

Scott, bless his soul, complies. He starts talking, about video games and his college courses and their friends, rambling cheerfully like he’s not sitting there avoiding the sight of his best friend being fingered by some older guy, and Stiles does his best to focus entirely on Scott’s voice as Dr. Hale works between his legs. 

 

Stiles is exhausted an hour later when he finishes filling out medical forms and insurance claims, fully clothed once again and sitting up on the exam table he’d just been laying on not too long ago. His ass feels sore and oversensitive like that one time Malia had tried out her biggest strap-on on him, but thankfully the vibrator has been successfully removed and now lies innocuously on the counter in the room, inside a plastic bag kindly provided by the nurse, Melanie. She’d left him and Scott while Stiles completed his paperwork, promising that Dr. Hale would be back to check on him one more time and then see him out soon. 

Stiles had barely refrained from groaning at that, and Scott, the asshole, had coughed to suppress his laughter. Because Stiles didn’t _want_ to see Dr. Hale, Hot Doctor, whatever, again. Not after he’d popped a boner while the guy fished a vibrator out of his ass with clinical precision. And this only after he’d admitted out loud that he thought the doctor was hot. He doesn’t think he can stand any more humiliation tonight. 

However, he steels himself for any impending embarrassment ten minutes later when there’s a knock at the door, stares intently down at his finished paperwork and tries to mentally prepare himself so he won’t say anything ridiculous this time. Dr. Hale, as doctors do, lets himself into the room without waiting for an actual response to his knocking. Stiles watches him nervously, trying not to meet his eyes. 

“How are you feeling, Stiles? Still not in too much pain?” He asks, and since Stiles is avoiding eye contact his gaze ends up locked on the man’s hands, strong and capable looking with thick fingers that were _inside_ of him just recently.

Scott coughs again, but this time it’s in a blatant attempt to capture Stiles’ attention, draw an answer out of him. It works, though Stiles feels his face flush as he drags his gaze away from Dr. Hale’s hands and answers after being silent for just a moment too long, “Nope, I’m good. And I finished all of these form things.”

"Great. I can take those." Dr. Hale closes the distance between them in a few short steps, their hands touching when he takes the papers. Stiles is hyper-aware of the brief moment of contact, embarrassingly so. To distract himself, he asks, 

“So...am I all set? I can leave now?”

“You can, assuming you don’t have any other concerns or questions for me.” And, well, of course he has questions. _Are you single_ and _are you into guys_ and _are you into awkward, younger guys you treat at the hospital, more specifically_ are just some of the questions he could ask. 

Instead he shakes his head, answers with, “Nope. Thanks, though.” He stands up, carefully because he’s kind of afraid of discovering he sprained a muscle or broke his ass, but nothing hurts too badly. Scott gets up too and hovers next to him while he finishes talking to Dr. Hale.

Dr. Hale who is smiling charmingly at him and saying, “You’re welcome, Stiles. Try to avoid using sex toys that don’t have a broad base or handle in the future, I’m sure you don’t want to have another accident like this one.” He pauses to take a card out of his pocket, eyebrows raised as he offers it to Stiles. “However, if you do find yourself in a situation like this again, feel free to contact me directly.” Is his smile leaning towards flirtatious now? Is Stiles being flirted with by the unfairly hot doctor who extracted a vibrator from his ass? That has to be against some kind of moral doctorly code, but he doesn’t care. 

“You can contact me even if you don’t need medical assistance, though. I’d love to hear how you’re recovering in a week or so.” He is definitely being flirted with. Stiles makes a choked noise, pretty sure his face is bright red and that he looks like a dying fish as he opens his mouth and struggles to think of a response.

“Uh- thanks. Again. Thanks again. I will, yeah, I’ll definitely let you know how my a- how I’m doing soon. I...bye.” He ends up answering in a rush, and this time it’s slightly less embarrassing when Dr. Hale chuckles and smirks at him. Before he can ruin the moment, Stiles hurries out of the room with a puzzled looking Scott in tow- then promptly realizes he left behind the vibrator.

“Hold on.” He instructs Scott, leaving his friend in the hallway while he steps back into the exam room, still occupied by Dr. Hale. He picks up the clear plastic bag holding the vibrator and mutters, “Forgot this.”

“Ah.” Dr. Hale grins knowingly. “Wouldn’t want to leave that behind. Goodbye, Stiles. I hope I’ll hear from you soon?”

Nodding, Stiles says his goodbyes again before they walk out of the room together and part ways, and yeah. Dr. Hale is going to be hearing from him soon. Stiles deserves to have something good come out of this incident. 

“Dude. Was that doctor just hitting on you? And what are you gonna tell your dad if this ends up on your insurance bill or something?” Scott asks as they start walking down the hall.

Stiles is still on his dad’s health insurance plan. Does this kind of thing show up on health insurance bills? How is he going to explain a hospital visit to his dad? “Hey dad, that emergency room visit I made in the middle of the night? It’s because Scott got something stuck up my ass but it’s okay because a hot doctor got it out by rubbing muscle relaxant all over me and now I have his phone number”?

_Fuck._

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like Teen Wolf/Sex Sent Me to the E.R. AU's are gonna become a thing for me. Hmu at steterfilth.tumblr.com for more intentionally bad/ridiculous fics and AU ideas


End file.
